The last couple of weeks, when I was in Flagstaff, was filled with one goal, spend as much time with people before I leave. And I did that. I had coffee with dear friends & mentors, stayed up late for sleepovers, told stories to my brothers, & played a lot of games. It was such a beautiful season of rest & being with people I love. However, I'm realising that I forgot to prepare my own heart. In trying to care for others, I blocked out leaving from my brain & never truly processed it until 2 days before when I was packing. I had fun & laughed a lot, but I forgot to allow myself to cry. I forgot to allow others to comfort me. I put an expectation on myself to be strong for others. As I look back just a couple days, I see that now.
It wasn't my goal to share this when I sat down to blog but the Holy Spirit reveals things in new ways all the time. Right now I'm in Mazatlan & have started my first week of the Artios Internship. The first couple of days were a lot harder than I expected but I know they will just keep getting better. I've definitely been feeling homesick, but I am so grateful for phones. Somehow, whenever I call my mom I feel so much better & can continue doing what God has called me to.
This is the reality of missions. In class, we've been learning about how YWAM Mazatlan was founded & got to the place where it is today. It came down to this: I must hear God's voice, say "yes" to Him, & not quit. Right now I feel really vulnerable & small. In my thoughts, I was starting to question why I was here. I still don't the exact reason but I know God will reveal it soon. I am clinging to His promises. This IS where I am supposed to be. It's normal to miss my family & not feel completely at home here just quite yet. God is so so good & will continue to be even in the hard times.
On the other side, I am having a lot of fun. I've been a part of a capture the flag night & a game night. Those have been so helpful in connecting with people! My 2 roommates are both Latinas so I've really enjoyed working on my Spanish by just hanging out with them. In Artios, everyone is assigned a service role. During these 3 months, I will be working in Cuidado de la Casa. It's basically just cleaning the campus & taking care of plants. In the mornings, I will be cleaning bathrooms till lunch. From 2-4, I'll do whatever needs to be done. Then, from 4-6, I'm in charge of the DTS students & their work duties. I'm excited to start practicing my leadership right away & will learn so much by doing this.
Prayer Points:
- connecting with people here & having deep friendships
- being a good leader
- learning to have grace for myself in this time of transition
- finding out why God wants me here specifically
